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1) Realize - ideal situation:
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Co-worker who is competent, respectful, has a pleasant
personality, and good hygiene.


2) Review - the real-life situation:
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Your former boss who left the company two years ago is hired
back as your employee, but interrupts and condescends to you
just as before (and his smell hasn't improved either). Sadly
you're not going to be able to find a replacement for at least
5 months, so you have to play nice (or at least make due), but
how to do so with a minimum of stress?


3) Reveal - ideal vs. reality comparison:
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He can do the job, but is lacking in the other areas. The
result is a stressful workplace.


4) Stress Release tactics - these can be done instantly:
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Gratitude: Be grateful that you are aware that this is only
for a short period of time (as compared to the prior 14 years
of having worked together where there was no guarantee of him
leaving first). Also, that you were able to find a fill-in
rather than have to cancel programs or do two jobs at once.

Inner strength: You've handled this before, you can do it
again.


5) Stress Reduction tactics - these take time to implement:
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Define and stick to personal boundaries: Understand why your
buttons (aka boundaries) are being pushed rather than just the
action that triggers them. The easiest way to do this is to
make tension your guide rather than your enemy.
The next time you get tense or feel stress, stop right away and take a
moment to dissect WHY that particular situation agitated you.
What does it represent? What boundary does it cross? Why does
the boundary get tested at that point and not another? Why
does it exist at all?

Get the other person's perspective of the situation: Every person
sees the world differently. One person's helpful action is
another's encroachment of personal space. Sustained
communication and open dialogue, while taking effort in the
short run, save it in the long run - that includes talking
with yourself.


6) Remind yourself:
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Aside from enjoying a life of lowered stress, you deserve
to recognize and reward yourself for taking the time and
putting in the effort to undo years of harm. Giving yourself
a reminder of what you've learned will help you maintain the
progress you've made. It's easy to skip this step, but that
makes the process less enjoyable, which is the antithesis of
what we're working towards.

What will be your reminder? Pick something that will stand
apart from the little things you give yourself to make this
experience more memorable.


7) Repeat as necessary:
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Releasing stress is an ongoing process that gets easier the
more it is applied. With each application of the Seven R's
deeper layers of stress will be revealed and released.


Broader discussion:
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We are each involved in innumerable relationships. When people
first meet, there is a "feeling out" period where the unspoken
guidelines of the relationship are set up. As time passes it
becomes more difficult to change this arrangement without both
effort and discomfort - parents have a difficult time when
their children grow up, close friends do not always make the
best roommates, etc.

What relationships cause you stress? Chances are you're not
happy with the unspoken guidelines. What boundaries are being
crossed?


General Stress Strategy:
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The ideal strategy is to lower your capacity to accept and
hold stress while maintaining positive outlets to release any
excess. This mind set will trigger the need to release stress
before it can do its typical damage - physically, mentally
and spiritually - in a productive fashion.

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