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Synopsis:
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Often our problem isn't how to do something, but rather
the excuses that keep us from getting off our butts
(sometimes literally). As the excuses mount we get more
frustrated with the situation and with ourselves. The
hard part is recognizing when we are in such a state.

1) Realize - your ideal situation:
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You want to return to 132 pounds (from 150) and enjoy all
the benefits that come with it, including: higher
self-esteem, higher energy levels, and feeling comfortable
in tighter clothing/bathing suit.

You also want a positive support structure to help make
the process easier.


2) Review - the real-life situation:
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9 months ago you were at your ideal weight, but a hormone
related medical issue interrupted your routine and as a
result you gained 18 pounds.

For the last 4 months you've been cleared to resume your
prior active lifestyle, but have lacked the motivation to
do so. Instead, you find yourself binging on foods out of
frustration, rarely going to the gym, as well as feeling
tired and ashamed.

You feel uncomfortable talking about the situation with
those who care about you the most: your husband (who likes
to snack when he gets home), best friend (who also has
weight issues), and the people at Weight Watchers (who you
feel you've let down).


3) Reveal - ideal vs. reality comparison:
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Losing the physical weight isn't the issue right now. You
have been able to take and keep off this weight before.
Your systems for doing so again, however, are dormant.

You already know a substantial amount about proper diet,
exercise, and time management. Even your medical issue is
no longer in a state of flux. It seems that as soon as you
can get to this part, the rest will be a breeze.

The lack of progress appears to be caused by a mental
blockage: negative self-talk, temptation/frustration, and
pride are some of the obstacles that need to be addressed.


4) Release - your ideals that aren't benefiting you anymore:
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Positive self-talk: How you refer and think about yourself
is an important aspect of your life. "Should," "always," and
"never" are some of the most harmful words you can say to
yourself. Focus instead on a positive version ("I always eat
too much." --> "I will find a balanced relationship with food.")

"Be the change you wish to see." - Ghandi

Turn around negative self-image: Start seeing yourself as
the person you yearn to become. Because if you think you
can't become it, then you probably won't.

Make pride your friend: There's nothing wrong with being
proud of your abilities. The problems occur when you fail
to share your struggles with others because you don't want
people to be seen as a failure. Instead, take pride in your
ability to seek out help. Look forward to the day when you
can say, "I was struggling with an issue, and rather than
get flustered I got help and moved on."

"Shared pain diminishes; shared joy increases." - Spider Robinson

Countering Temptation:
  A binge-free home: Your husband likes to eat a snack when
  he gets home. Instead of depriving him of a treat, he can
  go back to having a few hiding spots for the snacks that
  you'll finish, and keep in plain sight the snacks that you
  have control over.


5) Raise - the likelihood that future reality will match ideal:
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Build support structures: People, places, and things
  Who can you count on to help?
  Where can you go to make your desires easier to achieve?
  What can you use to remind yourself of your drive and keep
   yourself focused?

  Sub-strategies:
   The caring cadre: One of the biggest gifts you can give
   yourself is to make friends with non-judgmental people -
   those who care for you and will give you an honest opinion
   in your best interest. After all, if you can't count on
   those closest to you to be supportive, then why are they so
   close? And if they are not close, why should their
   opinion matter?

  Don't rely on telepathy: Mind-reading is a tenuous skill
   at best. On issues of importance make sure to communicate
   openly, and confirm that what you are saying is what is
   being heard by having them paraphrase your situation back
   to you.

   It's true that your ideal support person may not be able
   to help you, but you have to find out the old-fashioned
   way - talking with them.

Countering Temptation:
  Keep your hands and mind occupied: Often times when your
  hands are idle, you find yourself turning to snacking.
  Whether it's playing the piano, painting, or gardening,
  having an easily accessible alternate activity will help
  when feeling frustrated.

Restarting the routine:
  Small steps: It's easier to sustain an elusive habit if you
  start with small steps - sometimes much smaller than you'd
  normally consider. Recommended Reading - One Small Step Can
  Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way


6) Remind yourself:
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Aside from enjoying a life of lowered stress, you deserve
to recognize and reward yourself for taking the time and
putting in the effort to undo years of harm. Giving yourself
a reminder of what you've learned will help you maintain the
progress you've made. It's easy to skip this step, but that
makes the process less enjoyable, which is the antithesis of
what we're working towards.

What will be your reminder? Pick something that will stand
apart from the little things you give yourself to make this
experience more memorable.


7) Repeat as necessary:
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Releasing stress is an ongoing process that gets easier the
more it is applied. With each application of the Seven R's
deeper layers of stress will be revealed and released.


Broader discussion:
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Sometimes our big problem isn't what we are focusing on,
but rather how we go about dealing with it - if we are
aware of it at all.

"The first problem is the problem. The second problem is
your inability to admit the problem, talk about the problem
and ask for help in solving the problem." - Seth Godin

It's the second problem that sabotages us. We get so caught
up tackling the first problem that we miss the second. It's
like a prisoner in a jail who keeps reaching through the
cell bars for the keys that are out of reach hoping that
some miracle will allow his arm will grow or the keys to fly.


General Stress Strategy:
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Every task you set before yourself is do-able (I'm not
including inventors in this group). If you aren't getting
it done some part of your approach or mind-set isn't working.

Do you need more time?
Is there a better time to make the attempt?
Are better tools available?
Are more hands needed?
Do you have enough information?

If you struggled with a task, and were eventually
successful, take time to analyze what was different about
the situation. The task may come up again.

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